America’s Next Top Model’s Sarah Hartshorne Calls Show a 'Cult' in Memoir

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America’s Next Top Model catapulted many aspiring models to new career heights during its 24-season run — but what happened behind the scenes?

Sarah Hartshorne, who competed on cycle 9 in 2007, got real about her experience on the reality show in her new book You Wanna Be On Top? A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation and Not Becoming America’s Not Top Model, calling the Tyra Banks-led series a “cult” and detailing the strict rules contestants allegedly had to follow.

Hartshorne wrote that ANTM began to “feel like a cult, from the undisclosed filming locations in international waters to not being allowed to speak for days at a time.” She later claimed, “And the reality is … it was a cult. I got suckered into a cult.”

When asked, “What would you say to Tyra now?” Hartshorne didn’t appear to hold any ill-will toward the creator of the show.

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“I was one of many who were traumatized by the actions of Tyra and the producers. But still, I am grateful,” she wrote. “So, here’s what I would say: Thank you. Pay me.” (Banks previously confessed that she “said some dumb s***” while hosting the show, but “fought and struggled” for diversity on TV.)

Scroll down for Hartshorne’s biggest You Wanna Be on Top? revelations about ANTM and Banks:

Road to the Runway

Hartshorne detailed the journey to making it onto her season in 2007, claiming that the girls were “blindfolded” and “forbidden” to speak to each other after arriving in Puerto Rico. She recalled each model meeting with a psychiatrist upon arrival and before they were separated into groups of about four or five women.

She estimated that about 50 girls made it into the first round before they were narrowed down to approximately 33, who all appeared on camera for episode 1. During the first day of shooting, Hartshorne claimed Miss J a.k.a. J Alexander, the runway coach, threw away nearly all of her clothes except one dress she was allowed to keep for the journey.

Hartshorne wrote about feeling sick from the heat and claimed she asked to go to a bathroom to throw up, but was allegedly told no by a crew member. As a result, she said she threw up “neatly and quietly” on the pavement.

She further alleged that the girls, who filmed episode 1 on a cruise ship, weren’t “allowed” to speak to each other unless it was mealtime. After a week on the ship, the girls were narrowed down to 13 women who moved into the house.

“We chose you for a reason. Don’t make us regret it. Because we will make you regret it. Believe that,” Hartshorne recalled being told.

Americas Next Top Model Alum Sarah Hartshorne Tells All in You Wanna Be on Top MemoirSarah Hartshorne Courtesy of Sarah Hartshorne/Instagram

NDA Drama

Hartshorne claimed that if any contestant broke their nondisclosure agreement (NDA) they would be sued for $5 million. She alleged that a “team of lawyers” broke down the ramifications to the girls and “threatened” to take their wages, “their families wages and the wages of their future children for many generations” if they acted outside the NDA parameters.

Not Too Skinny, But Not Too Fat

Hartshorne was labeled a “plus size” model during her season, which she said messed with her body image. “Every day I woke up, got mic’d, and then went to weigh myself,” she remembered. “The camera crew would always follow me to the scale, so I’d hide the number with my foot, curling up my toes so I could peek and decide how to feel about the day.”

When Hartshorne was eliminated, she said Banks made a comment about her size.

“You’re very, very good, but the judges feel that your place in the industry is kind of confusing right now, because models are so, so, so skinny or they’re plus size,” she claimed the host allegedly said at the time. “And you’re losing weight. So you’re neither. And where does that leave you? It’s up to you to decide. If you’re not confident in yourself, how can we be confident in your abilities?”

Americas Next Top Model Sarah Hartshorne Calls Show a Cult in New MemoirJohnny Nunez/WireImage

Telling Her Story, Her Way

Despite struggling with her weight in the house, Hartshorne said a positive to her being on the show was that she came out publicly as bisexual. Unfortunately, that moment never aired.

“I’d finally articulated something that had been wafting around in my brain for years. I don’t know what shifted and made me come out on the show. Maybe it was trauma bonding. Maybe it was because I was surrounded only by women, two of whom happened to be queer,” the model wrote. “And despite the fact that, in reality, we were hypervisible, in those moments it felt as though we were safely ensconced from the male gaze in this artificial world. Turns out my ‘safe space’ was the floor of a walk — in a closet in a mansion in the Hollywood Hills.”

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Tyra Banks Was Always On

Banks, who gave the girls tips and tricks throughout the show on how to pose and “smize,” was always “performing,” according to Hartshorne. (Banks hosted all but one of the 24 seasons, which aired from 2003 to 2018.)

“I wondered whom in her life she trusted enough to be herself with. It didn’t seem to be anyone on set,” Hartshorne confessed. “I pictured her with those trusted few and wondered what she was like.”

Even with her ups and downs, Hartshorne said Banks was mostly a positive figure while on the show. “Say what you will about Tyra, but she is one of the most magnetic and compelling people I’ve ever met. Her gaze felt like the sun,” she wrote.

Americas Next Top Model Alum Sarah Hartshorne Tells All in You Wanna Be on Top MemoirSarah Hartshorne Courtesy of Sarah Hartshorne/Instagram

Models United Against Producers

“The producers were trying to make good television. At any cost,” Hartshorne alleged, claiming the TV team refused to “acknowledge for so many years that there was any ill intent” in their efforts to create must-see TV.

She compared the producers’ alleged tactics to “ones used by cult leaders to inspire obedience.” Hartshorne claimed that the crew took their phones and watches and “prohibited” newspapers, clocks or anything else that would tell the contestants “what day or time it was.”

Hartshorne further alleged, “They removed all of our agency and kept us on edge by withholding food, sleep, and access to bathrooms. It pains me to say it, but it would be impossible for the producers, including Tyra, not to see the damage they were doing.”

The silver lining, according to the reality star, was that “most of the time, the girls and I were a united front fighting against the powers that be: the crew.”

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How to Stay Off Camera

Hartshorne claimed that if there was more than one girl in the bathroom stalls or showers the cameras would start filming. To get a breather from being filmed, she said the ladies would “sing famous songs or mention brands or Disney characters” because the show couldn’t air those things.

“There were cliques and momentary tiffs or rivalries, but overall, it felt like camp. We were all in for this wild ride,” Hartshorne said of her castmates, noting they would say a sentence and insert a jingle into the middle so the clip couldn’t be used.

Americas Next Top Model Alum Sarah Hartshorne Tells All in You Wanna Be on Top MemoirSarah Hartshorne Courtesy of Sarah Hartshorne/Instagram

Goodbye Exile

Once Hartshorne was eliminated, she recalled being sent to a hotel and given “strict orders” not to leave her room. She said her stay lasted a few weeks, but remembered other contestants allegedly being there for “two months.”

In Conclusion

While writing her memoir, Hartshorne confessed, “I was more afraid of facing my own memories” than putting out details about her time on the series.

She called herself “one of the lucky ones,” but noted, “I didn’t make it out unscathed.”

Hartshorne wrote, “I was not the first to faint, nor was I the last to realize that maybe a production where a young, unpaid girl is at risk of losing consciousness every episode needs to be examined.”

Looking back, she said ANTM “brought a lot of people a lot of joy” both on and off camera but it “also harmed a lot of people.” Hartshorne concluded, “It caused equally undeniable pain and trauma. Acknowledging one truth does not negate the other. Both can (and do) exist at the same time.”

Us Weekly reached out to Banks and The CW for comment.

You Wanna Be On Top? A Memoir of Makeovers, Manipulation and Not Becoming America’s Not Top Model is available for purchase now.

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