Erik Menendez's Relationship With Wife Tammi's Daughter Talia Explained 

Erik Menendez has received unwavering support from wife Tammi Menendez‘s daughter Talia — but when did he take on the father role?

Erik made headlines when he and brother Lyle Menendez were arrested in 1990 on two counts of first-degree murder after their parents — José and Kitty — were found shot to death in their home. Two trials resulted in Erik and Lyle being sentenced to life without parole; both maintained that their mother and father were physically, emotionally and sexually abusive.

After initially remaining in the same penitentiary, Folsom State Prison, Erik and Lyle were transferred after their sentencing. Lyle was taken to Mule Creek State Prison, while Erik moved to Pleasant Valley State Prison, which are all located in California. They reunited in 2018 when they were moved into the same housing unit at Richard J. Donovan Correctional Facility.

Erik previously addressed rumors about his personal life amid speculation into his sexuality.

Erik Menendez, Wife Tammi's Relationship Timeline: From Pen Pals to Marriage

“No [I am not gay]. The prosecutor brought that up because I was sexually molested and he felt in his own thinking that if I was sodomized by my father that I must have enjoyed it and therefore I must be gay,” he said in a tell-all with Barbara Walters from 1996. “And people that are gay out there must be sexually molested or they wouldn’t be. It was upsetting to hear, but I am not gay. But a lot of gay people write and feel connected to me.”

Erik ultimately found love with Tammi Ruth Saccoman, whom he married in 1999. They initially met when Tammi wrote letters to him while she was still married to then-husband Chuck Saccoman. Tammi, who already had a daughter from a previous relationship, later found out that Chuck was allegedly raping her teenage daughter when she was 15 years old.

Chuck turned himself in to the police and died by suicide two days later. Talia was 9 months old when Chuck died, and Erik subsequently became a father figure for her over the years. Talia is now running a social media account dedicated to advocating for her dad amid his attempt to be granted parole.

Keep scrolling for a breakdown of Erik and Talia’s bond over the years:

When Did Erik and Tammi’s Relationship Begin?

Tammi Menéndez and Erik Menéndez. Courtesy of Tammi Menendez/Instagram

Before Erik was sentenced, he connected with Tammi when she wrote him a letter in prison. Tammi was still married to Chuck at the time and was living with him and her teenage daughter from a prior relationship when she started to follow the Menendez trial.

“I told [Chuck] that I was going to write to Erik,” Tammi recalled to People in 2005. “He said to go ahead. I really didn’t know if Erik would write back.”

Three years into their correspondence, Tammi found out that Chuck allegedly started to rape her teenage daughter when she was 15 years old. Chuck, who shared a then-9-month-old daughter, Talia, with Tammi, turned himself in to the police and died by suicide two days later.

“I reached out to Erik. He comforted me,” Tammi told People. “Our letters started taking on a more serious tone.”

How Did Erik Come Into Talia’s Life?

Tammi Menéndez and Erik Menéndez. Courtesy of Tammi Menendez/Instagram

Erik and Tammi met after he was convicted of first-degree murder when Talia was still an infant. Tammi subsequently moved to Sacramento to be closer to his prison. She visited him four times a week and they got married in 1998.

After Erik was transferred, Tammi and Talia drove 150 miles every week to visit him.

“Every single time a parent would say to me, ‘No, my daughter can’t stay over at your house,’ I would wonder if the underlying reason was Erik,” Tammi admitted to People while referring to her youngest child, who considers Erik her father. “There is always that question in my mind.”

Erik and Lyle Menendez's Family Guide: Who Supports Them and Who Doesn't?

Has Talia Supported Erik Amid His Bid for Freedom?

Kim Kulish/Sygma via Getty Images

Talia has preferred to remain out of the spotlight, but she entered the public eye amid renewed interest in Erik’s case. In October 2024, the then 29-year-old made a rare appearance alongside her mother at the press conference that confirmed the Los Angeles District Attorney’s resentencing recommendation.

“While today marks a small step forward, the journey isn’t over yet,” Talia wrote via an Instagram Story. “Stepping out of my comfort zone and being seen publicly was a huge challenge for me. Today was overwhelming but I pushed through for my family. I hope you can understand that I’m simply a daughter fighting for my dad’s freedom.”

What Has Talia Said About Erik’s Parole Request Being Denied?

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Talia spoke out in August 2025 after the parole board denied Erik’s request more than three decades after his arrest.

“A piece of my letter that the commissioner named Robert Barton probably didn’t even read,” Erik’s adopted daughter, Talia, wrote via Instagram. “I poured my heart and soul into this letter all for it to go in the hands of someone who already had their mind made up.”

Talia offered an excerpt of the letter she wrote for his hearing.

“This letter is deeply personal. I’m writing as a daughter who has spent her entire life longing for something most people take for granted; a real, daily relationship with her dad,” she wrote. “I hope you’ll pause with this one and hear the voice of a little girl who has been visiting her dad behind prison walls and has been waiting for him to come home from the age of 2 to now almost 30 years old.”

She continued: “Although he isn’t my biological father, he took on being a stepdad by title, but in every way that truly matters, he has been the best father that anyone could wish for. My safe place, my teacher, and my greatest source of strength and kindness.”